Friday, July 8, 2011

Baseball: America's Past Its Prime

Baseball, known as America’s pastime should be referred to as past its time. I mean how can one sit and watch pitch by pitch on TV for 3-4 hours and say that it was entertaining when the game ended 3-1 on two sac flies, a past ball, and a RBI single. Not to mention that your team lost and their only run was the past ball. I need Chris Carter right now to give a big C’MON MANNN! Oh wait,  (skip to 42 seconds but the whole video is absolutely hilarious). Unless you are arriving 3 hours before a live game with intentions of grilling and getting hammered to watch the game, there really isn’t a point in watching baseball. It is just too boring.

I once said that when two things happened I would give up on baseball forever. They were when Ken Griffey Jr. retired from hitting homers with that silky smooth swing and when Alex Rodriguez was busted for using steroids, I would be gone forever. Well, since then, both of those things have happened but I have added another stipulation just so I would not have to give up tailgating at Miller Park. I’ve added that once Albert Pujols is busted for steroids I will not watch another pitch. To me, he is the only guy in baseball that I can trust to not test positive because he no machine, he Albert.

The topic of steroids brings me to my next thought. Besides Albert, who can you trust in the game today? A-Rod and Barry Bonds, will more than likely be 1-2 on the all time home runs list and they both have used steroids (only 1 has admitted it but Barry will change his story when he’s in the pen and meets the sisters(Shawshank Redemption reference, didn’t think anyone would get it)). When you think of the greats of the game, no steroids mention has ever been brought up. You see a guy today who is jacked and you instantly thing steroids and why not? They are going to need a separate Hall of Fame for the steroid era. Speaking of the Hall of Fame, where the hell is Pete Rose? Another knock I have on baseball is that Pete deserves to be in the hall. He is one of the greatest hitters of all time with over 4,000 hits and a man who never took a game off (tried to find a video of Pete Rose destroying the catcher at home during an All-Star game). Who gives a shit if he bet on HIS TEAM? I bet against my own soccer team in high school and was rewarded for it ($25). Let the man in the hall Bud!

Then there are the ridiculous amounts of money that baseball players earn. The ludicrous numbers make Lady Gaga’s outfits look normal. Alex Rodriguez makes more money per at-bat than most Americans will make in a year and I’m sorry Pujols, you are not worth $30 million per year. To actually earn that, you better average 50 homers, 150 RBI’s, and 200 terrorists killed per year. A lot of players are overpaid and pitcher Vernon Wells agrees with the critics who say he is overpaid: “Everybody would say I’m not worth the money and I would totally agree that I’m not worth that contract.” His contract was 7 years for $126 million. Well, at least one player gets it.

Another thing that baseball has going against it is the NFL. Football is far more exciting and entertaining than baseball. It is a fact of life, just like the bible is the best fiction book ever. Every aspect from the cheerleaders, to watching on TV, to being in a fantasy league, football blows baseball out of the water. It’s not your fault baseball, you are just more outdated than my dad’s typing abilities.

By now you have noticed my position on baseball and it is not a favorable one. From my struggles as a little leaguer to my struggles watching the big leaguers, baseball is on its death bead. The steroid era has already left its mark and the increasing greed from major leaguers is killing my desire to ever come back to America’s pastime. Attending a game this weekend I will try to find some love for the game. You could call me a hypocrite for trashing baseball then attending a game, but I will be directing your judgment into the bottom of one of my many vodka and fruit punches. For better or for worse, I will continue to stick around. Just don’t let me down Pujols. 

The Lounge Chair Legends


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