Thursday, July 7, 2011

Eric's Terrific Bucket List

This is just a little compilation of things that I want to accomplish in my lifetime, and yes I will get to all of them at one point or another. If you find this list offensive, you can suck it.

1. Climb Mt. Everest, cause an avalanche, then sled down it
2. Sit courtside at an NBA game (preferably a Laker game with the Mamba playing and dropping 101 points)
3.Bang two chicks at the same time (from Office Space)
4.Have a Vicodin and gin race with Heath Ledger
5.Kayak from Rice Lake to the Mississippi River, while finishing a keg of vodka on the way
6.Get Married (Jessica Alba)
7.Party with the Dogg Pound in Las Vegas,  Hangover style (best men)
8.Top a Bugatti out and not crash it like Ryan Dunn, too soon?
9.Hang out with Tupac for a day (this is entirely possible because he is still alive)
10.Drink a 1.75 of Taaka vodka out of the Stanley Cup
11.R. Kelly on a girl of age
12.Slap Sarah Jessica Parker in her unattractive face
13.Write a movie script that wins an Oscar or a Woody, whichever
14.Be in a rap music video swiping credit cards (check the Tip Drill video by Nelly for all you honkeys out there)
15.Drunk swim across the Mississippi
16.Take my life savings and throw it all on red in one spin of roulette
17.Attend a World Cup soccer game and start a 50,000 person riot
18.Have a bachelor party for Dad (in the next 2 years, you know it!)
19.Whack somebody with Tony Soprano (Sarah Jessica Parker?)
20.Win the lottery and blow it all in 24 hours
21.Try shrooms, acid, and maybe a few lines of coke (or a mound)
22.Skydive naked
23.Make out with all of the women in my top 5-Jessica Alba, Kate Upton, Autumn Reeser, Dianna Agron, and Emmanuelle Chriqui better known as Sloan from Entourage. I also just have to throw in Shakira and Natalie Gulbis, cause damn. You know what I mean by “make out.”*
24.Streak at a professional sporting event
25.Rob a bank, then get shot up like Denzel in Training Day. This is how I want to die. Closed Casket!
26.Ghost ride the whip on top of an airplane
27.Win the Tour de France 5 or 8 times or just be there when there is a huge crash. That is always pretty funny
28.Take a dump off of the Eiffel Tower
29.Become the biggest drug kingpin known to man
30.Most importantly, kill a hooker or two

*After watching Just Go With It the other night, I am going to throw Brooklyn Decker into my top 5 (now top 8). If you need to know why, do a Google images search. Also, quick movie review. Just Go With It is an awful film that should only be watched with your girlfriend and confirms that Adam Sandler will never make another movie comparable to The Waterboy, Billy Madison, or Happy Gilmore.

The Lounge Chair Legends

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