Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Is Anything Free Anymore?

Eric Walker

So, I wake up Sunday morning around noon, not hungover(because I am a good boy) and it is ideal do something outside weather. I roll my lazy ass out of bed and decide to hop on my bike and go for a spin to Caryeville(a small, broke ass town southwest of Eau Claire that sucks so much, it only has a busted general store that doesn't even take plastic). I get a few blocks from my house when I realize that Tupac isn't rapping in my ear so I had to turn around and snatch up my Ipod. This is a little annoying but nothing compared to the b.s. that lay ahead of me(I couldn't decide if this is supposed to be "lay" or "lie" but it doesn't really matter because the average adult reads at a 5th grade level anyways) .

Fast forward a lil bit, but not a lot baby girl, just a lil bit and i'm taking my normal route down the Chippewa River State Trail until I cross the highway where I see two vehicles parked by this booth and I pull my head phones out as I am flagged down. I'm then given the option to pay $4 for a day trail pass or $20 for a season pass by a prestigious member of the DNR. Talk about WTF! You now have to pay to ride a bike? An F-bomb later, I am riding back in the direction I came, determined to find another route that leads to the trail. That ends up being a fail as I rode around the hilly but scenic south side of Eau Claire for a while and ended up back home 23 miles later(good workout).

The frustration and annoyance had subsided a bit due to Lance Armstronging all of those hills but goddamn, you are going to make people pay to ride bike and roller blade? Oh it's fine, let the joggers, yoggers, and mufucking walkers go free of charge. GOOD. GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL!(Chris Farley reference for all you suckers out there). What is the world coming to when you have to pay to ride a bike? Jesus Christ(<--I prayed to him for help but didn't get an answer, huh). You know what? We should have to pay the DNR for the air we breathe because the trees that they protect or whatever help produce it. Do something useful and stock some lakes with some goddamn fish!

I am looking at the bigger picture here when I am talking about this. Nobody should have to pay to get on a bike and pedal where they want to go. It's just another piece of garbage restriction that some ass clown decided to throw on society. It seems like everything in life has a price tag attached to it and it's a joke. Kanye West once told me that the best things in life are free and that isn't much anymore(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aZr0n6vxo8). Fuck it though, I found out that 4 Jimmy Dean breakfast sanguiches and 1400 calories worth of Kit Kat bars help ease pain. It might of been because I was having a heart attack but it was still better than thinking about the bullshit DNR and their ludicrous fees.

Eric Walker
The Lounge Chair Legends    

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