Thursday, May 17, 2012

Underground Hipsters Need to Shut It!

Let me start of by saying that I absolutely love music.  There is nothing I like more than throwing on an album and listening to it from the opening to the closing track.  It's almost as entertaining as a movie or T.V. show to me.  As most of you know, I only listen to rap music, or music from the 50’s and 60’s.  It’s a strange range of music, I know, but it’s what I love.  Rap music is just incredible to me.  The creativity that goes into every beat and the wordplay that is displayed on the track makes me carefully   listen to the words and decipher what the artists are saying.  I listen to a wide range of rappers, coming from every style, and every city in the US.

Recently, though, there seems to be some popular trend that makes it unacceptable to listen to mainstream/popular/actually good rap music.  Living in Minnesota, I hear on countless occasions people telling me that “Minnesota rap is better than anything Kanye West or Jay-Z could put out”, or “*insert popular rapper here* sucks, have you ever heard*insert Minnesota/underground rapper here*?  He’s way better!”   This has been driving me crazy!  I’ve listened to this way too much and something needs to be said.

Here is my personal letter to every shithead out there that thinks this way:


Dear Mr. Hipster-Douche,

                I understand that you have an undying love and respect for the underground rappers from your home state.  That’s loyalty, and I believe that is important...but you need to shut your mouth for the rest of time.  I mean honestly where the fuck do you get off?  If I bring up one of my favorite rappers, and you trump in by saying Prof, or Brother Ali is better than him, you are the dumbest person on the planet. 

                Look, I understand that there is a divide between Mainstream and Underground hip-hop, and listeners of either side rarely blend over to the other side, but this stuff needs to stop.  There is a main difference between being able to rap, and making good music.  Sure, maybe your favorite underground rapper has the best flow ever, and can rap with unmatched passion for lyricism, but that’s only half the battle.  There is a main reason why your rappers stay underground and why others reach the masses--they just aren’t putting together a good product.

                 Some rappers say that the industry is bullshit and don’t want to be held down creatively by suits that don’t know the culture.  It isn’t that they don’t want to be signed to a big record company, it’s that they can’t.  You don’t think that your favorite underground rapper has tried to make it big in the music industry?  You don’t think he/she wants to make lots of money and get on the radio?  I will bet my current and future life savings that they tried and failed, or are currently trying to as we speak.  Eventually, these guys are going to get sick of playing 300 person bars and want to move to sold out arenas and try to go platinum. 

                Look, I know there are a lot of shitty rappers out there that make it big and reach the masses.  Just to name a few: Soulja Boy, Mike Jones, and everyone in G-Unit has reached platinum status at one point in their careers.  Can you actually tell me where they are now?  Have you heard anything of theirs on the radio at any point in the last few years?  No. They made radio friendly music, and they sold millions of records (I know what you’re thinking,” Mike Jones did not sell millions of records”.  His first album went PLATINUM!  I am as shocked as you are) but they are no longer in the lime light mainly because they just aren’t good anymore.  It’s harder for rappers to keep the people’s attention and stay in the main stream lane. So you have to give props to everyone that stays there for years.  That means that they have something that reaches to everyone. 

                Having a favorite rapper is a lot like having a favorite sports team.  You will live or die with them, and will talk them up as much as possible.  You can like the Browns as much as you want, and tell me how good they are, but me and everyone else knows that they suck ass.  That is the same with your little underground rappers.  Keep thinking they’re good, then eventually they’ll have to play against the Patriots, and they will get stomped into the ground.  Sure, every now and then they sneak out a big play (or record) and end up beating them, but the Patriots are still destined for the Playoffs while your Browns loving ass sits at home and watches. 

                Just recognize the insanity of what you are saying by telling me successful rappers suck, and keep it to your god damn selves. 

Now if you would excuse me, I have some more 2 Chainz to listen to: 


The Lounge Chair Lengends 

1 comment:

  1. Minnesota = Insecure....."please, please take us seriously...we are not flyover country".....pathetic!

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