Sunday, January 26, 2014

2014 Royal Rumble Predictions

Eric Walker and Joe Haines


No football to watch today? And no, I don't count the Pro Bowl. It's by far the worst All-Star game in professional sports and I would almost, ALMOST, rather watch a WNBA game that ends 21-16. The Grammys are also on but FUCK the Grammys until they recognize good hip-hop music. Anyways your 89th favorite blog is here to give your ass something to watch this lonely Sunday night.

Enter the 2014 WWE Royal Rumble. The first of 12 scheduled pay per view events for the 2014 calendar year, The Royal Rumble is the perfect way to bridge the gap from Conference Championships to Super Bowl. What is it exactly you ask? Well, I could explain it but it is a lot easier to snatch a Youtube video and show you.


Great huh? You can expect 2014 to bring more of that magic for a cool $45-$55 depending on your cabe/satellite provider or like me, you can use the internet and watch it for free 99.

Well, it's time for some predictions starting with the less important fights and working up to the two main events of the night.

Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. New Age Outlaws

Eric's Take: This fight will be during the free pre-show and is of minimal importance in the grand scheme of the evening. For me this is a bunch of old farts(other than Cody Rhodes) going at it, trying to regain some glory from the good old days. Prediction: the New Age Outlaws will pull off the upset and become the new Tag Team Champions.

Joe's Take: There is no way in hell the New Age Outlaws are winning the belts. They haven't been around for years and are back mainly for a story line enhancer for the CM Punk/Authority feud. Cody and Goldust win.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Eric's Take: I am not being outrageous here when I say that this fight will probably have more than 2 men in the ring at some point. Daniel Bryan has had issues with the whole Wyatt Family for a while now and finally has a 1 on 1 chance with  their crazed, mastermind, leader Bray. Don't expect Daniel to leave tonight on his own power. Prediction: Daniel Bryan wins but is mercilessly beaten within inches of his life by the Wyatt Family.

Joe's Take: I agree that there will be interference at some point during the match. I predict that the other two members of the Wyatt Family, Harper and Rowan will interfere during the match, causing a distraction, and Bray Wyatt will capitalize on this opportunity by giving Daniel Bryan the "Sister Abigail" and get the win.

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Eric's Take: Paul Heyman has made it loud and clear that Brock Lesnar is coming for that coveted WWE title and nobody is going to get in his way. With that being said, he has to deal with "The Worlds Largest Athlete" tonight in The Big Show. These 2 will combine for 5,000 lbs in the ring and you can expect a great fight that will test the durability of that ring. Prediction: I'm hoping for a Big Show victory but Brock Lesnar will win because of where the story lines are headed.

Joe's Take:  Reinforce those ropes, because there is going to be a lot of big man action tonight. I really hope that the ring breaks at some point in time. Lesnar has to win this. They didn't bring Brock Lesnar back just to lose to the Big Show. Lesnar wins using the kimura lock and breaks Big Show's arm in the process.

Royal Rumble

Eric's Take: 30 of the best fighters in the WWE will take center stage tonight in the Royal Rumble elimination match. Shit always seems to get crazy during this match and there are always quite a few wild/hilarious moments that will make it worth the hour and a half of your time. Most of the entrants in the fight have been announced with CM Punk being the lucky first man in and a tough road lies ahead. Prediction: either Punk becomes the 3rd man to go from first man in to winner or Batista stops him just short and takes home the title.

Joe's Take: CM Punk will be there at the end, but there is no way he's winning. I think the safe bet here is that Batista will be the last man standing. But, as I put in my other article, my bold prediction is that Daniel Bryan will win the Royal Rumble. Hear me out. I know that he isn't listed as one of the thirty competitors in the Rumble. I know that he has a match earlier in the night. But how sweet would it be if at number 30 Daniel Bryan's music hits, Everyone shits their pants and starts chanting "YES!" for twenty minutes, and Bryan is the last man standing?  He's the most popular star on the roster, why not have him win the Rumble?

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Eric's Take: A rematch from TLC, this title match should be the cream of the crop from the 2014 Royal Rumble. The previous fight ended with Orton leaving victorious as he handcuffed Cena to the ropes and ended up putting his head through a table. How awesome is that? Only in the WWE is it legal to handcuff a guy and put his head through a table without repercussions  This rivalry became extremely heated over the past couple of weeks as Orton recently lost a match, took it out on Cena's father who just happened to be sitting ringside and sent his old ass to the hospital. Cena's quest for revenge will be on display tonight as he gets his hands on Orton who narrowly escaped Cena by hijacking a vehicle outside the arena on the most recent RAW. Prediction: I can only hope Orton wins because Cena gets on his knees whenever he is asked by the WWE and I just enjoy watching the self proclaimed "Face of the WWE" act like a spoiled brat.

    
Joe's Take: This is a weird match for me. I just have no interest in this and I really don't care who wins. I'm so sick of Orton and Cena. This feud reminds me of when I used to live out in the country with no cable and only three channels. Sure you have TV, and it's great when there's a new show or a game on. But when there is nothing on the three channels you have, you just kind of want to slam your head against the wall for a couple of hours. Cena and Orton have became the three channels with nothing on. We have to live with it. My prediction for this match is that Cena wins the title back form Orton. This will be done so Cena and Brock Lesnar can start a feud for Elimination Chamber.

Eric Walker
Joe Haines
Creators
Lounge Chair Legends

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