Monday, June 8, 2015

World Record Attempt

My last 2 posts have been about big homie Nugget, and my cuz Paul passing away so I decided to do try something so inspirational and uplifting that even Bo Dallas would be proud.
Watch some WWE if you don't know.
5 days ago, I decided I was going to break the Mile Run World Record.

But before I get to that, let me give you a brief history of running in 2 words: IT SUCKS. In the longer version, running started around 20,000 bc (or so, I don't care) when cavemen had to run from saber tooth tigers, wooly mammoths, and what not. From there, Romans used it to get messages from one part of their vast empire to the next and it eventually made its way to the Olympic games. The modern age of running came when people actually decided to do this for fun. Not for sport, not for survival, but for fun! I mean, other than running away from ex girlfriends that won't leave you alone. 

This whole running thing began a couple of years ago when I read the book Born to Run. It essentially covers a lot of people who can run really long distances without dying and it made me feel like a joke that I struggled to run a mile or two at the time. So I drank the kool-aid, got into the game, and even bought a pair of those toe shoes (I WANT MY REFUND BITCHES!).
This is actually a pretty good book.
Fast forward those couple of years and you will find me sitting at work last week with one random thought leading to another and I looked up the current world record for the mile: 3:43.12 JESUS WALK ON WATER CHRIST! My running career up to this point had maxed out at 6.2 miles so I thought this would be something "easier" to tackle.
Watching the video inspired me, or just gave me an idea for a ridiculous blog post, but I decided at that moment that I was going to give the world record a shot. On Sunday June 7th, I strapped on my Nike joints, put my headphones in with some Taylor Swift blaring and went for it.............and came up just short.
This is pretty pathetic according to WR standards. 
Wellllll, I was a little more than "just short" but if you ever reach your goals, you are probably setting them too low. Let this be a lesson to you young punks out there. If you decide to try run the fastest mile in the history of mankind, you probably shouldn't do it on your 4th run in the last calendar year but like I said, dream big or you'll probably end up blogging about your failures. Shit.

The Lounge Chair Legends

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