Saturday, October 17, 2015

Hard Knocks: Week 5 Recap

Another week and another W for NEW DAY ROCKS!!! Yet again Coach Walker made an egregious personnel blunder but his team was just barely able to rise up and put down The Upside. It will read as a 6 point win in the books but the game was never really in doubt as perennial bottom feeder Coach Tomesh proved to be no match.

"I would be mad at you guys for playing like a bunch of chump ass shit birds but we got the W and at this point, that is all that matters. It was nice though to see our running backs both show up in the same week so we have that going for us. The rest of you guys.....fucking suck. Randall, I mean what the hell did I spend so much money on? You are on the same team as the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ and you ended up with 5 points? You better figure something out and get that shaky offense working again."
RIP Jamaal and The Upside
"Hey Percy! Guess what I could have started this week instead of you and been better off? A FUCKING BOWL OF CEREAL. You lost me points? I'm out here trying to build a dynasty and you are losing me points? I hope you like the bench because that is where you are going to be for the foreseeable future. As for the rest of you, you don't even deserve a comment."

"You shouldn't even need to question who the game ball is going to this week. Dion Lewis! I know its not hard to make the Cowboys look incompetent but you did it with ease. That and every other team is still offering up trades for you. Nice work."

"If you guys need some bulletin board material to get you ready for our next match up just know that the piece of garbage running Rustic Raiders has been chirping a lot of nonsense about how he is going to win this week. Get ready for a bloodbath boys. Onto week 6."

Delusional might be the best word to describe Coach Walker at this point in the season as he seems unconcerned with the fact that his team has put up embarrassing numbers in back to back weeks. With that being said, you can't ignore the 2 additions to NEW DAY'S win column and the chance to win another against a very soft opponent in week 6.

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