Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Hard Knocks: Week 7 Recap

Expectations were at rock bottom this week as YO TEAM IS BOOTY!!!! had 3 of its key performers on byes but the 2 time champion Coach Walker showed his brilliance once again and pulled off the astonishing upset. Stellar pickups from the waiver wire and not squandering a single point on the bench helped Coach Walker lead his team to a much needed victory. The win catapulted BOOTY!!!! into 6th place in the standings and couldn't have come at a better time to potentially save this once promising season.

"Just a week ago I was in here running my mouth about how you guys didn't have any heart. How you couldn't cut it in this league! How you were nothing but trash! I'm ashamed to admit I was wrong about all of that BECAUSE YOU GUYS STOMPED THOSE MUFUCKAS INTO THE GROUND! Then you let them get back up and you STOMPED THEM AGAIN! Goddamn was that beautiful. Nothing gets my blood pumping like kicking some ass on the gridiron! Alright, alright, aright let's calm down. Never thought I would say this but the game ball goes to Mike Wallace. You were given the start and you put up serious digits. Nice work! I would also like to give a shout out to Andy Dalton and Vernon Davis for their contributions. For your help, you can pack your bags bitches. YOU CUT! Ahhh I LOVE doing that. Enjoy the win but get ready for that head butting, playbook stealing sonofabitch Dale Earnhardt Ellis Sr."

In an apparent ode to Randy Moss, Coach Walker decided to interview himself post game.

"I'm not going to answer any questions for the rest of the year. If there's going to be an interview, I'm going to conduct it. How did it feel to win this week? It was great man. Whippin a team's ass by 50 is always a great feeling. What is the game plan to beat Coach Dale Earnhardt Ellis Sr. and Rustic Raiders after last years 2.5 point loss? I'm not even thinking about that busta. He couldn't coach himself out of a fucking phone booth. Next question. Are you concerned about being fined for not answering the media's questions? Nah. What's money to me? I'm rich. Fuck outta here."

A 50 point massacre is always a good thing but YO TEAM IS BOOTY!!!! will still be a massive underdog heading into week 8. Last year's match up between these two was a classic even after the revelation of Coach Walker's playbook being stolen by the opposition. It's redemption time for Coach Walker as he looks to take a big step toward the postseason.

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