Friday, November 11, 2016

Hard Knocks: Week 9 Recap

A loss this late in the season against an appalling Labatt Sign Smashers would have all but derailed YO TEAM IS BOOTY!!!!'s playoff chances but a masterful performance by Coach Walker has the team in control of its own destiny. In the locker room, praise was spread like peanut butter and jelly with a couple of roster shake ups on the side.

"Nice win out there today guys but anything less than that 56 point demolition would have been unacceptable against that squad. Anyways, game ball goes to Jay Ajayi! You make it look easy kid and I hated doing this to you but you and Cam have been traded so get packing your shit. I would like to welcome the best QB-WR duo in the league, Matt Ryan and Julio Jones everybody! Jay may have gotten the game ball but everybody in here deserved it this week. Shit ass Kendall Wright was the only person not in double figures and that's how you win championships so let's keep this train rolling. JULIO! Quit unpacking your shit. ESPN is reporting that I have just traded your overrated ass so get the fuck OUT! You weren't good enough for this receiving corps anyways. Last thing, every game from here on out is a must win so keep the questionable behavior to a minimum. History is upon us!"

"Listen up you reporter scum. It was a massive win for us today but I was already looking to next week. These last 4 regular season games are going to define my career and I've never been more focused in my life. Coach Hansbrough Sr. might have his team in 2nd place but that's only because he hasn't played me yet. I'm on mission to get that elusive 2nd chip and nobody is getting in my way. Walker out!"

Early season chatter had Coach Walker possibly relishing his job but he has since then constructed a roster of talented individuals with the precision of a surgeon and the only thing left to do now is finish it off. A challenging match up with Dillon Panthers who boasts both Le'Veon Bell AND David Johnson looms large in week 11.

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