Sunday, December 11, 2016

Hard Knocks: Week 13 Recap


A devastating loss to Zimmer Down Now has officially ended YO TEAM IS BOOTY!!!!'s season and title hopes. Some may call the season a success though as Coach Walker took the 11th ranked scoring offense and had them in position to make the playoffs even with losses in weeks 12 and 13. The only reason BOOTY!!!! isn't in the playoffs is because the tie breaker for teams with the same record is based upon total points scored, not head to head match-ups. A questionable ruling by the league Commissioner to say the least.


"I'm warning you right now, if you can't handle an outrageous amount of fucks being thrown around, you better get out right fucking now. FUCK you Commissioner Haines for that atrocious tie breaker rule. Fuck you Todd Gurley for being washed, Fuck you Matt Ryan for once again being a pretender. Fuck you Gates and Ebron for the goose eggs in week 12. Fuck you Beasley, Wallace, Boldin, and Matthews for being the most average receiving corps in history! And just for the hell of it, fuck you Yeldon and Crowell. The only one worthy enough to be on my team is Steve Smiff. Steve, you've had my back all year and I love you for it. Fuck the rest of you. At least I'll be able to dust off my golf clubs earlier than I expected. Fuck!"


"Let me ask you hacks a question. Say 2 teams end the season with the same record but one team beat the other by 51 points in a head to head match up. Who do you think should be in the playoffs? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, US! What's the point of whooping a team's ass if it doesn't count for anything? I lost a lot of faith in this league and our chump ass commissioner after that one. Right after the game ended, I'll be honest, I was contemplating retirement but missing the playoffs on some bullshit ass technicality has me incensed and I'll definitely be back next year. I can't let my career end on this shit."


Coach Walker's criticism of the tie break rules may very well have merit but as it stands, YO TEAM IS BOOTY!!!!'s season is over. Year long speculation about Coach Walker's future was a hot topic but at least the retirement rumors were put to rest in his post game press conference. HBO is already reporting that talks about a Hard Knocks Season 3 are heating up and the deal is expected to be in the 7 figure range. Despite the tough end to the season, Coach Walker solidified his position in the league and his future looks bright.

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